Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
