Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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