Pants 0. Shit 1.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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