Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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