Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
he quoted the bible to break up with me
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
3pm strippers are depressing
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
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