My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
