...so i touched it.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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