I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Porn is love you can see.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Randomize
