my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
