am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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