There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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