Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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