Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
