So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
