dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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