she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
He felt like a one man threesome
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
