Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
love makes seman taste better
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
