Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Actions speak louder than pants.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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