so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
