Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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