What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
