Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
look no pants
You can't special order awesome
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize