So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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