I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
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