you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
