Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize