I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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