My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
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