Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
