I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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