Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
