you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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