I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
