bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
