I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
