weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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