May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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