how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
