I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
