No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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