I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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