talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
