if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
