it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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