I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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