its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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