i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
