Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Rumble strips road head = magical
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
