Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
