Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
