I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Randomize
