On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I CAN MOONWALK!
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
