I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
