Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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