somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
