honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book