Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out