so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
