WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
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She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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