What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Randomize
