Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize