Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize