Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
