oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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