dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Dicks are not precious.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
